Jo: I used to think that being in a relationship was just about being in love and that initial in love stage is just how the relationship would be sort of on going. And I know now that’s not how it works for most people if anybody. I think for most people that the initial kind of in love stage will settle down into normalcy and you need to find something deeper than the initial in love stage.
I thought I was the only one seeing it home seeing the way I was feeling. I didn’t know there are any other people out there that would understand.
Lance: I suppose a lot of people fall to that trap to having their one up type of relationship in, guys trying to be one up another. So you trying to be right for all that kind of stuff. Being able to grow beyond that has been huge for us and we want to take it to the next level. That’s where we want to be to when you are raising somebody like this, if you know what I mean.
I wouldn’t want to raise a child without knowing what I know today. I hate to say it but we’ve been more adult about it to be honest. The way that we deal with stuff isn’t so childish, isn’t so petty or surface level. The way we deal with stuff now is a lot more real, really more about being there for each other and supporting each other in whatever it takes through growth, through problems, through good times, just knowing that they are there for you, so much less judgement, so much less. It’s mainly just the perspective of knowing where you are at instead of skirting around the issues at some level deny there is a problem or somehow deny it’s not your your problem that somebody else’s like that. That shift within yourself to really take it on and go well, it’s just really down to me , it’s my life , it’s my relationship. I would say it’s a very high likelihood that these days we probably wouldn’t be where we are. We probably be wouldn’t be together
Jo: Or even worse than that, still be together but unhappily.
Lance: Yeah, that’s huge
Jo: I love what I have now because I chose it. I know what it is and I choose it everyday. In helping anybody looking for a relationship right now or anything like that, I think the biggest thing is probably to realise that the thing that you think you are looking for maybe isn’t the thing you are looking for. Figuring out what it is that you really are after and knowing what that is would be probably be biggest thing in starting to look for a relationship and that’s definitely one of the big things for us is that we know what we’ve gone and we chose it everyday and that dept of love is incredible especially once you’ve got a child. Once you’ve got a third person in your relationship and you’re dynamic and that in love stage isn’t got to cut it. It’s not gonna work. You’re going to need something more than that to make sure that your family is going to make it into the real world.