Interesting how I used to be. I used to try and shut myself in and not really talk to barely anyone. I don’t know. It’s a funny thing to look back now. I partied every weekend, took whatever, drank crazy amounts. I’m lucky I still have my liver. I’d get high and drink every night as well. Even work nights. I’ll be going from work and just smoke and I drink so I wouldn’t have to deal with anything. It feels really weird actually being in my old band gear and just being comfortable and don’t really care how I looked. It’s all about how I felt. It really does feel like a whole new life like an actual life instead of an existence. It’s really amazing.
I actually don’t find myself looping around in my head anymore with the negative crap that just used to spin off. Every area of my life has shifted, not just my health, not just relationships, not just money, everything. For the first time since ever, I actually have money in my accounts. What’s awesome to is I’m allowed to hang out with my little nephew. Beforehand, there’s no way my sister would have me near him. I remember actually saying once when he was really little. I went to go pick him up and the look my sister gave me, I just can’t even do it it’s just “you’re not touching my baby, you’ve been smoking”. Okay, it was a good little eye opener for me.
I might have an average day but then when I realise that I am I take it and go like how can I learn from that. What can I be doing that’s different to that so I’m not being a windy, whiney. Yeah.
Easy to say that I love the new me. I love the people that I’m around now, that’s around me, the positivity, excitement, happiness, joy, love, passion. I have a great environment. I have loving amazing people around me all the time.
Now, I’m in this most amazing relationship and we both are growing together in such a special way. We’re both learning about each other and growing at the same time and, yeah, I couldn’t ask for more.
What’s the one thing that’s holding you back, that’s stopping you from doing what you want to do? If there’s anything, let’s go through and sort it out. If you still want to be there that’s cool but if you actually want to do something come do it. Come hang out.